First blog post

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The Work of the Devil

IMG_3034I know for a fact I’m not alone in my disdain for the dentist. For me, it’s everything: The stale smell of the waiting room, the People magazines from two years ago, and entering the room, the chair of torture. Attached are scary instruments that you have seen as the latest machines-taking-over-the-Earth movie. The best is the spit sucker. Why do dentists insist on keeping it in one place, while the rest of your mouth fills up with saliva? Sorry, I just had to vent.

As bad as the dentist is, the whole practice of orthodontics is worse. Using sharp wires to straighten sharp things in your mouth whose sole job is to chew your food? It’s medieval! They use rubber bands to do this, varying the strength. Your mouth literally has to develop callouses to have a comfortable mouth. You get used to it, but next appointment the orthodontist decides to tighten them again! For probably two years.

I probably got mine off 15 or 17 years ago and still need a retainer! A nice smile is a lot of work, pain and EXPENSE.

Summer Is Around The Corner!

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I’m taking a break from my usual posts, and taking one of the WordPress classes. This is “Introduction to Poetry.” Poetry has always scared me, but I have always to learn. I figured now is a good time as any. Assignment one was a haiku about water.

The water is cold

The air is hot, no breeze now

Shocking when I jump

Good Job, Apple!

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Apple has done a sufficient job of making an emoji for everything possible. How they come up with them, I have no idea. I say I’m random! Do a boardroom full of Apple employees say the first thing that comes to their mind?

I saw on Facebook that for the new iPhone they thought of yet even more. At least proposed even more.

And drum roll: There will be emojis for people with disabilities! Some of them include a hearing aid, a cane, and two wheelchairs, manual and power. There will be an assistance dog and vest and prosthetic limbs.

The emojis were created in collaboration with such organizations as the National Foundation for the Blind, National Foundation for the Deaf, and The Multiple Sclerosis Society.

All I can say is, good job Apple. There are probably a million (if not millions) disabled iPhone users. I can speak from experience when I say these emojis are a tiny way of including a segment of the population who isn’t always included.

Your Philosophy Lesson For the Day

When Barbara Streisand talked about cloning her dog for $50,000, I thought she was joking. I know we love pets, but come on… Unfortunately Sarah got wind. She has a sick relationship with our family dog. She actually called Pippa her spirit animal and wants us all to contribute to cloning her. For $50,000.

Just because it fit in with the prompt, I looked into it.

The whole thing gives me the creeps, but is quite interesting—in a please-make-it-stop kind of way. Reading about Wolfie and Bubble, the first dogs this company cloned and their poster dogs (more like scruffy rats), I felt like I was getting a philosophy lecture, if not a theology lecture. What I got is they think it’s the first pet’s soul in the new pet. How far back can I roll my eyes?

What’s a gyp is that the company can’t guarantee the two animals will be exact copies. I thought of some questions. If they’re not identical, what if you like the clone better than the original dog? Will you spend ten-plus years feeling guilty? What happens when the clone dies? Do you get a clone of the clone and so on? See what I mean? Philosophy mixed with bioethics.

It all gives me the willies. Like thinking of infinity or space. At the rate science and technology are advancing, I can’t imagine what my ancestors will see. Cloned people? Okay, pets checked off the creepy list–at least compared to cloning people.

Home Sweet Home

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As a kid I used to love The Little House storybook. I loved the illustrations best because, although it has a happy ending, the story made me sad. I now realize my hometown of Corona, California, is exactly like The Little House. The homes from the 1900s, when Corona’s main business was citrus, now have gas stations or yoga studios as neighbors.

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I know business is progress, I just think a Craftsman house from 1910 is too good to have a mini mart across the street.

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New Math

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I didn’t like math or science in school. You have X and Y, but if you do everything right, Z tends to happen. I guess I didn’t think like that. Still don’t. But at least there is a right and a wrong answer. Most things aren’t that cut and dry.

Take politics. Just because I’m a registered Republican doesn’t mean I have to like everything they do. Or even the president (no comment) for that matter.

I’m so sick of watching the news. More and more it’s like you vs. me, with neither side willing to consider the other.

 
Like I said, most things aren’t black and white. We should leave that to scientists and mathematicians.

Mmmm!

A warning: due to descriptions that might make you want to lose your lunch, proceed with caution when reading this post.

I’m kidding, but by the way it looks, I would never be brave enough to try it either. Friday nights are our “wing-it nights” for dinner. “What do you feel like?” Mom or Dad asks at about 3:30 or 3:45 (no joke). I was on a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell kick for a while. With a Lean Cuisine night from time to time (to offset the Taco Bell—I felt guilty).

Two words changed all of that: GLUTEN FREE! Friday nights are still wing-it nights. But instead of Taco Bell it’s Pieology. On the gluten-free crust. Pineapple pizza. No Canadian bacon. Just pineapple. More than one time the kid at the register has tried to get Canadian bacon too, afraid that one of my parents forgot to mention it.

Back home I enjoy my only-pineapple pizza, the juice mixing with the pizza sauce, making a liquid mess. Oh, yeah, by this time my pizza is room temperature. Mmmm!

Another wing-it favorite is pancakes. Gluten-free pancakes. Bisquick makes a mix that tastes exactly like regular pancakes. Even the texture, with most gluten-free foods having a mushy texture (I guess it’s the gluten that binds everything together). If you blindfolded me I couldn’t tell the two pancakes apart.

And what goes best with pancakes? Okay, two things. Syrup, yes, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m talking about scrambled eggs! I’m particular about them. Eggs must be runny, or at least runnyish. Now comes the syrup. It’s pure maple syrup; who knew even Aunt Jemima had gluten? Therefore pure maple syrup is the other option. It’s almost liquid, with a maple flavor.

First, the syrup doesn’t just go on my pancakes. Eggs, too. I’m sorry if some people have urpy stomachs. I eat, Mom or Dad refilling the syrup pitcher at least once (the pancakes sure sop up syrup!).

Then, I’m pretty much done, except for a few pancake crumbs and some stray eggs. By now, they are literally bathing in syrup! That’s how they are best, ingredients in what I refer to as “sludge.” They are all scooped together in one bite. If I’m lucky, two. It’s my favorite part of pancakes!

Maple Syrup on Pancakes
This is too appetizing for me but Google doesn’t have any images for “sludge” associated with pancakes and scrambled eggs.

It’s true that a lot of gluten-free things are less than appetizing, but if all I could be served was lukewarm pineapple pizza and soggy sludge, I’d be fine.